During my healing process there were certain parts of my past I wanted to avoid. Especially my memories. I would get overwhelmed and wake up with flashbacks or partial memories, knowing they wanted to emerge. 

Even with the help of a therapist who specialized in sexual abuse and a support group, I would find myself fearful of my memories coming forth. As I started to get further into healing, although I did not like the memories coming or the way they came, I wasn’t as afraid of them.

My memories did not just all of a sudden appear in my mind. No, they came at night and I would wake up shaken and afraid. I started to understand that I had stuffed them for so long, they leaked out when I least expected it, when I was asleep. 

I called them night terrors. But I was able to learn how to handle it when they did come. I stopped stuffing them down and started to accept that I needed to see what I saw as a child. As an adult, I knew I needed to feel that I could nurture that younger version of myself. 

So I continued to do the work. I continued to learn coping strategies. And as I started found myself no longer in denial or suppressing or avoiding my memories, they stopped. 

I don’t know if this happens to everyone but I saw what I needed to and went on to heal from my past. 

Is this something you struggle with? 

In this episode, I go deep into avoidance. 

Today, you’ll hear about:

- [2:13] What avoidance is and if you continue to use them as an adult, without replacing them with new, healthy coping strategies, they can negatively affect your healing and growth.
- [2:37] Examples of avoidance include avoiding places associated with the abuse, substance abuse, the avoidance of triggers, … and suppression of memories …
- [12:49] Why do survivors employ these avoidance strategies? Too put it directly -- it’s to avoid re-traumatization.
- [18:55] How avoidance affects you.
- [23:43] How to overcome avoidance include many ways…
 
Listen in and Remember, each of you holds a strength within that is greater than the challenges you face. 

#9 Managing Avoidance  

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